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Saturday, May 23rd, 2009
12:15 pm	Alive. I remain coherent and resolute - a destroyer of time destined to fall, but not before having engaged the process with all determination I may. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
8:42 pm	70 Minutes of Madness Blessed be my MDR headphones, invented by Marconi, presented by Sony! Say heck no to Techno! Smashing pink baby mice against the rail. The skull shattered. It barked that high pitched whinny, that bright bark of pure panic; it struck deep chords in my mammalian heart, and I thought of weeping and desolate places, and indeed, it suffered in a desolate place, an astro turf Golgotha lit red as cruelty by the evening light. The snake slithered brilliant scaled and oblivious into scarlet shadow, deaf vexed by the vice of its own skin it determined to soon remove. At least they were with one another at the end, died in company. Ah, now that is company, wrapped in plastic. "It's crimeboss!" Sounds like a cheap video game enjoyed between productive tasks. Dopewars. Fly from San Francisco to Austin to unload meth and load up on whole sale LSD. Dodge the cops. Cap them. Hit me! Do you remember a water boy? Is that a turn table? Well get on it, it's your turn! (Comment on this)
8:08 pm	Signed and Attested Thaddeus of Edward R. Murrow High School offers up the pleasures of his portfolio: Pick your pleasure, and take your measure. A phenomemon me. Not like Ms. Angelou and more like antimatter over Tunguska, should the fortune cookie catch the stars meaning correctly. Cory of the Thousand Days. Benjamin of the black flamed hair. Robert of many comets: His body appeared to have hit one too many comets in the course of its orbit through life: Scars at the calves, the wrists, and who dares imagine what else defaced his gray bulk. The stink of oysters and fish guts beneath the shadow of the pines. One love, one love, honey, I've got rhythms I haven't even used yet. Supine in the car seat in slumber, dreaming of unending urination. Lost you, lost you, I've lost you. Just like Sister Ray said. Shot him dead down on the floor. And desire fills my heart. She's busy sucking on my ding-dong. Melody of the dirty blond hair and biology masters with firm thighs. The serpent shed out of the blue, its skin peeled back translucent along the darkness of its spine. Don't make comparisons because you'll lose. Envisioned a date and instead a red haired dyke. Let an ease of spirit flood and overwash the peanut strewn concrete at our feet. The cat in the darkness. Red crawfish twisted and tailed black eyes bright as christmas glass. She grabbed my hair among the rafters. I yelped. The bartender recalled me. Fair Courtney. A pale girl in a ratty Rick Flair shirt thought me the greatest thing ever, and Carla, fool Carla, she seized me in the booth. Felix indeed. Said she was a writer, said she fit in no where. Verbal irony ladeled forth. She fled like a rusalka back into the waters of murk passing for lighting within the bar. Silent her. Bill Shaw, hitherto known as Slick Will the Confidence Counselor Shaw. His child athwart his thin chest in canvas papoosa. The rods out of adjustment. Verne's tow service. Screven county racers buckshot into the darkness before pursuing blue lights. A night in jail. Glenn Hills. The girls are off the chain. Half naked. Chintzy blue sequins and eyeshadow. A monument to James Brown. The 22 images of Saint James, including his brand new bag of cookies. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
2:15 am	More NOtes... The Pleiades There were seven Pleiades, and you can find them when you look in the sky (they are stars). Their names were: Maia, "Mother" "Nurse" Alcyone, "Queen who wards off evil [storms]" Electra, "Amber" "Shining" "Bright" Celæno, "Swarthy" Taygeta, "Long-necked" Sterope or Asterope, "Lightening" "Twinkling" "Sun-face" Merope "Eloquent" "Mortal" "Bee-eater" They were the daughters of Pleione (an Oceanid) and Atlas. Pleione means "sailing queen" and so her daughters would be the "sailing ones", but the root could also be peleiades which means a flock of doves and fits perfectly. They waited on Artemis with their half-sisters the Hyades and with them were called the Atalantides, Dodonides, and Nysiades. They were pursued by Orion for seven years, and got away only when Zeus granted their prayers and changed them into doves. The picture on the right is an engraving by F. E. Fillebrown. If you want to know more about the individual Pleiades, there is more on some of them below. (Comment on this)
2:10 am	Notes... Yes, those are just a few things necessary for a reworking of a heavy mass. (Comment on this)
1:56 am	Notes for Thousand and First Night, V. 2.0... The Magic of Maya - Illusion & Delusion Posted on Wednesday, August 27 @ 11:50:25 EDT Topic: Asian Mythologies In a casual conversation with a Hindu co-. worker, I mention that I am thinking of doing a paper on mâyā. “Ahhhh, illusion, delusion,” he grins. I step back for a moment and think. Do I really understand the Hindu concept of maya? If maya only translates as illusion and disillusion, than why is there such a wealth of material written about the philosophical implications of maya in Indian culture? Early on in my studies, I discover a quote from Heinrich Zimmer, which truly puzzles me. Therefore, in the symbolism of the myths, to dive into the water means to delve into the mystery of Maya; to quest after the ultimate secret of life. (Zimmer, Art 34) What does Zimmer mean that to delve into maya is to quest for the ultimate secret of life? How can a word that merely translates to illusion and disillusion have such a profound impact on a culture, but also on the psyche that chooses to look deeper into its meaning? In the course of my contemplation, I am determined to examine the concept of maya, its linguistic origin, its philosophical meaning, its moral meaning, and finally, its meaning in my own life. As in all good investigations, I begin by examining the roots of words. From my studies into the difficulties of the translations of Freud’s work, I am aware of the difficulty in translating concepts from one language to another. I look into Sanskrit dictionaries to discover the root of the word maya. Maya is derived from the root mā, the source of several derivations including to measure, to show, to build (Harper’s 188). This is a clue to a clearer translation. For there is nothing illusionary about the verbs measure, show, or build. All imply concreteness and substance. I compare that with the English definition of the word illusion: 1. An erroneous perception of reality or an erroneous concept or belief. 2. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief. 3. Something, such as a fantastic plan or desire, that causes an erroneous belief or perception. 4. Illusionism in art. 5. A fine transparent cloth, used for dresses or trimmings (Dictionary.com). Erroneous. False. Fantastic. Transparent. None of these words convey any sense of substance or concreteness. Delusion is even worse, defined as a “false belief or opinion” (Dictionary.com). So, what is maya? Does one needs to ask what is reality in order to understand maya? Perhaps the only way a true understanding and definition of maya is achieved is by examining the Hindu philosophical concept of the structure of the universe. Maya is the “mother of the universe,” (Shambhala 185), the generative cosmic force which Brahman uses to create the world of our awareness. “Maya is Existence”, writes Zimmer, “…the supreme power that generates and animates the display” (Art, 25). As the mother of the universe, Maya is the goddess Maya-Shakti-Devi, “…the creative joy of life: herself the beauty, the marvel, the enticement and seduction of the living world” (25). Not only does this goddess create the living universe, she also covers our perception of this universe with an ambiguity, a web, and a transparent fabric of consciousness that is the ego. The goddess Maya is the ultimate sense of duality, the belief of the consciousness that measures itself separately from the universal oneness that is Brahman. Though Maya is a goddess, her source is still Brahman. Brahman is “holy power” and the crystallized form of the highest divine energy, (Zimmer, Phil 75-78). Brahman, the one source manifests all, including the gods, through his maya, his magic. Brahman is the ultimate reality according to the Upanishads: Brahman, attributeless Reality Becomes the Lord of Love who casts his net Of appearance over the cosmos and rules It from within through his divine power. He was before creation; he will be After dissolution. He alone is. Those who know him become immortal. (Shvetashvatara Upanishad 3:1) To know Brahman is to become immortal since Brahman is the source of the entire universe. To know Brahman is to cast aside the veil of maya and to see the truth: reality is God, says the old guru, “…the infinite, pure and real, boundless and beyond the pair of opposites, devoid of differentiating qualities and limiting distinctions” (Zimmer, Philosophy 21). To believe in maya is to believe in duality, the separation of self from the cosmic wholeness (Campbell 14). In this regard, maya is the barrier that we arrange between Brahman and ourselves. I go back to the root word ma and again think of measuring. When we believe in maya we measure off what is ourselves and what is the rest of the universe. Creating a separation from the oneness, we fall into maya’s trap. We become attached to the world of maya, attached to outcome and ego. We become attached to illusion and delusion, which is not maya but the outcome of our belief in maya. “Know him to be the supreme source of all”, teaches the Upanishads, “…He is far beyond the reach of the mind” (Shvetashvatara Upanishad 4:18). To move beyond the reach of the mind, into the unknowable is to experience the unity of self with the supreme source. This is to release our attachment to maya and to embrace oneness with Brahman. In a very popular Hindu myth, the semi-divine ascetic, Nārada, demands to be taught the secret of the Divine Source’s Maya. Nārada plunges into the deep waters and comes out a girl who proceeds to live a full life until that life is destroyed. Plunging into the funeral pyre, Nārada returns to himself realizing that a lifetime has past in a moment. Was it real? Zimmer says of the story, that the individualized, temporary forms nourish us for a time, but they dissolve once again back into Brahman. It is the power of transformation that is the all-consuming womb of maya (Zimmer, Art 35). Nārada experiences this all-consuming womb, this power of transformation as he moves from life to life. Ultimately he learns that hiding through these transient forms, created by maya, is the true holy power that is Brahman. A similar event occurs in the Bhagavad-Gita. Krishna, the incarnation of Vishnu, removes for a moment the veil of maya from Arjuna’s eyes. Arjuna sees with divine sight the “Shape of the Infinite God” (Bhag 92). He cries out, “You are what is not, what is, and what transcends them” (95). Arjuna has seen the ultimate reality and that sight gives him the wisdom to go into battle. To know what is, what is not and what transcends both, is to give up attachment to the “the magic mirage of the universe” (Zimmer, Art 209). This is enlightenment. Brahman, the holy power has the highest maya, the greatest magic. The Upanishads teach: The Lord, who is the supreme magician, Brings forth out of himself all the scriptures, Oblations, sacrifices, spiritual disciplines, The past and present, the whole universe. Invisible through the magic of maya, He remains hidden in the hearts of all. (Shvetashvatara Upanishad 4:9) Here again, is the correlation of maya with magic. Not the illusionary stage magic that most Westerners think of, but the original meaning of the word magic. Derived from the Indo-European root, magh, meaning to be able, to have power (Dictionary.com), magic is personal power. “This power is to be found everywhere and assumes many forms, many manifestations,” writes Zimmer (Phil 78). Each god, demi-god, demon, adept, and wise person has this magic, this maya. Hindu mythology is filled with stories of the gods or demons or enlightened men, using their maya to produce illusory effects, to change form, and to appear under deceiving masks. Rama leans of the value of maya as he, Laksmana and their guru Viswamirtha, chant two mantras that ease the discomfort of the dried, hot desert, transforming the journey into a pleasant one; “…they felt as if they were wading through a cool stream with a southern summer breeze blowing in their faces” (Narayan 11). Mantras are magic formulas, something used to produce a vision or invoke the inner presence of a god (Zimmer, Art 140-141). A mantra is an instrument of magic, an instrument of maya. In the story, Rama does not fall victim to the vision. He realizes that the desert is still hot, though he no longer suffers from the heat. Perhaps what the mantra truly invokes for Rama and his brother is not the appearance of coolness, but the realization of the universal oneness in which this world’s experience really does not matter to the enlightened soul. Further in the story, Rama is quick to see through the magic of the demoness Soorpanaka, when he realizes that “…she had only an appearance of quality…” (68). But when love enters the picture, both Rama and Sita fall victim to the magic, the maya of the demon, Marceecha. First, disguised as a golden deer, Marceecha lures Rama away from Sita. Rama is caught in his love for Sita and disregards the wisdom of Lakshmana who warns him that it may be just an illusion. Sita likewise falls victim to the magic tricks of Rama’s voice calling for help, though Lakshmana perceptively again warns of the illusion. The story is clear. When we are in love, we often fall for the magic, the illusion, disregarding the warnings of perception and wisdom in our lives. It is such tricks that often cause us to fulfill our dharma in life. But is the maya of Marceecha, the deceitful magic used to lure, also a part of Brahman’s maya if in fact it is used to ensure that dharma is fulfilled? We cannot help but pass judgment on the maya of Marceecha, since the magic of demons in our own western thought, is always evil. But is the maya used to deceive an enemy evil, if the heroes and not the demons use it? Is maya ever good or evil? To answer such a question requires that we look once more at Hindu philosophy regarding attachment to outcome. “In the calm of self-surrender,” Krishna tells Arjuna, “you can free yourself from the bondage of virtue and vice during this life” (Bhag 41). How does one free themselves from attachment to the outcome of deeds? Unite with the heart of Brahman, instructs Krishna, and above all act without attachment. Become indifferent to the results of action (41). To a western culture, instilled with the concept of sin, this is an incomprehensible thought. But in Hindu philosophy, this is the way to discovering the true self, the Atman, what the Upanishads call the unitive state in which there is unity with the “one without second” or Brahman (Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 3, 22-31). If one understands that all the world is the manifestation of Brahman’s maya and that this manifestation is part of a cycle that will include de-manifestation, then one’s only hold on life is the achievement of a state of union with Brahman. And in that state, there is no concept of virtue and vice, only dharma, the moral duty of caste. The use of maya as a weapon is a prominent theme in the war between the Padavas and the Kurus. Early in the battle, the King of the Three Castles, Susarman casts a spell, which causes darkness and illusions to fall over Arjuna and Krishna. Arjuna becomes momentarily confused as to what is real and what is unreal. “But it is foolishness to fight Arjuna with illusion” (Buck 274). Arjuna counters with his own Naga mantra, sending an arrow into the sky. Thousand of serpents instantly surround and bind Susarman and his troops. A second arrow leaves Arjuna’s bow and Susarman and his troops yawn, instantly recovering their memories and seeing through the illusions. Susarman cries out, “Lord what is this war? Let me be blessed, I will go home” (275). He realizes that this war is not for him and he retreats, going home. This is a curious event in the story, its meaning far deeper than first appearances would discover. Arjuna’s first arrow that casts the spell, weaves the web of maya across Susarman and his followers. The second arrow from Arjuna’s bow withdraws the illusion, and also restores the enemy’s memories. Once the veil of maya has been withdrawn, Susarman and his followers clearly see their path. What does it mean that their memories are restored? This is unclear, but my conjecture is that in their memories, in all of our memories, there is the knowledge of the unity that is Brahman. The second arrow restores their memory of this connection as well as making them realized that they have been deluded. Susarman’s crying out, “what is this war,” reminds me of yet another passage in the Bhagavad-Gita. Krishna says, The evil-doers Turn not toward me: These are deluded Sunk low among mortals Their judgment is lost In the maze of Maya, Until the heart Is human no longer: Changed within To the heart of a devil. (Bhag 72) Ultimately, the actions of Arjuna’s arrows symbolically repeat the actions of Brahman, who creates the universe with maya and then withdraws it into oblivion. The lesson here is that all is temporary; nothing is permanently fixed. In the end, when maya is withdrawn, our memories of Brahman and the oneness of the universe are restored. The use of deception in the major battle of the Mahabharata, causes confusion among western readers. To the western mind, it is imponderable that the noble Pandavas as well as the evil Kurus. use deceit and trickery in warfare. But this too is a concept of maya, the employment of what is called indrajāla, the art of conjuring or using deceptive tactics in warfare (Zimmer, Phil 123). This is the justification for Bhima’s deceit about the slaying of Drona’s son, Aswatthaman. While little is said of this incident in Buck’s translation and condensation of the Mahabharata, Zimmer quotes and then reflects on the Mahabharata’s teaching of the “crooked” way, a teaching that says that a king must used both the straight and crooked wisdoms when necessary. The teaching is from Bhisma to Yudhisthira who instructs, “Before practicing morality, wait until thou art strong” (Phil 124). This entire discussion justifies the use of deceit as a way of obtaining strength and victory in battle. As for the moral implications of such things, Bhisma tells Yudhisthira not to fear karma since “…no one has ever seen in this world what the fruits are of a good or of an evil deed” (124). Bhisma’s teachings reflect the teachings of Krishna to Arjuna in the Bhagavad-Gita. It is not the role of any being to attach to the outcome of one’s actions, but instead to perceive beyond the veil of maya to Brahman. Krishna says, When the bonds are broken His illumined heart Beats in Brahman: His every action Is worship of Brahman: Can such acts bring evil? (Bhag 53). If every action which results from following dharma and is detached from its outcome, is worship of Brahman, then how can maya, whether used to deceive or enlighten, be either good or evil? Perhaps the maya of the demons is just one more way that the dissolution of the universe is accomplished. In course of researching and writing this paper, I came across a quote by Henrich Zimmer that truly puzzled me in terms of the importance of maya in Indian philosophy. Zimmer says: Maya manifests its force through the rolling universe and evolving forms of individuals. To understand that secret, to know how it works, and to transcend, if possible, its cosmic spell- breaking outward through the layers of tangible and visible appearance and simultaneously inward through all the intellectual and emotional stratifications of the psyche – this is the pursuit conceived by Indian philosophy to be the primary, and finally undeniable human task (Phil 27). I am beginning to understand. Maya is magic in the oldest explanation of the word, a tool to focus and direct the holy power which all of us, as part of Brahman, hold in some part. To elude the trap of maya is accept the reality of oneness with the universe, knowing that our hold on reality is what ultimately keeps us from unity with the divine holy power of Brahman. To understand the meaning of maya is to dig deep into the psyche, questioning our actions and our attachments to outcome. To pursue maya is to pursue the source of all things. This is the lifetime endeavor for any human, including myself. Music exists in the realm beyond language, and so allows us to rise beyond consciousness and experience our connection to the Primordial Unity. Music is superior to all other arts in that it does not represent a phenomenon, but rather the "world will" itself. Summary The Birth of Tragedy is divided into twenty-five chapters and a forward. The first fifteen chapters deal with the nature of Greek Tragedy, which Nietzsche claims was born when the Apollonian worldview met the Dionysian. The last ten chapters use the Greek model to understand the state of modern culture, both its decline and its possible rebirth. The tone of the text is inspirational. Nietzsche often addresses the reader directly, saying at the end of chapter twenty, "Dare now to be tragic men, for ye shall be redeemed!" These kinds of exclamations make it more difficult to take his text seriously. However, if we look beyond the flowery words, we find some very interesting ideas. At the same time we confront Nietzsche's enormous bias, particularly when deciding when something is or is not "art." Nietzsche forms a very strict definition of art that excludes such things as subjective self-expression and the opera. Despite his criticisms of human culture, however, Nietzsche has great faith in the human soul and urges us to drop our Socratic pretenses and accept the culture of Dionysus again. Nietzsche describes the state of Greek art before the influence of Dionysus as being naive, and concerned only with appearances. In this art conception, the observer was never truly united with art, as he remained always in quiet contemplation with it, never immersing himself. The appearances of Apollo were designed to shield man from the innate suffering of the world, and thus provide some relief and comfort. Then came Dionysus, whose ecstatic revels first shocked the Apollonian man of Greek culture. In the end, however, it was only through one's immersion in the Dionysian essence of Primordial Unity that redemption from the suffering of the world could be achieved. In Dionysus, man found that his existence was not limited to his individual experiences alone, and thus a way was found to escape the fate of all men, which is death. As the Dionysian essence is eternal, one who connects with this essence finds a new source of life and hope. Nietzsche thus shows Dionysus to be an uplifting alternative to the salvation offered by Christianity, which demands that man renounce life on earth altogether and focus only on heaven. For, in order to achieve salvation through Dionysus, one must immerse oneself in life now. However, while man can only find salvation in Dionysus, he requires Apollo to reveal the essence of Dionysus through his appearances. The chorus and actors of tragedy were representations, through which the essence of Dionysus was given voice to speak. Through them, man was able to experience the joys of redemption from worldly suffering. These Apollonian appearances also stood as a bulwark against the chaos of Dionysus, so that the viewer would be completely lost in Dionysian ecstasy. Nietzsche emphasizes that in real tragic art, the elements of Dionysus and Apollo were inextricably entwined. As words could never hope to delve into the depths of the Dionysian essence, music was the life of the tragic art form. Music exists in the realm beyond language, and so allows us to rise beyond consciousness and experience our connection to the Primordial Unity. Music is superior to all other arts in that it does not represent a phenomenon, but rather the "world will" itself. Nietzsche sees Euripides as the murderer of art, he who introduced the Socratic obsession with knowledge and ultimate trust in human thought into the theater. By focusing entirely on the individual, Euripides eliminated the musical element that is crucial to the Dionysian experience. Euripides threw Dionysus out of tragedy, and in doing so he destroyed the delicate balance between Dionysus and Apollo that is fundamental to art. In the second half of his essay, Nietzsche explores the modern ramifications of this shift in Greek thought. He argues that we are still living in the Alexandrian age of culture, which is now on its last legs. Science cannot explain the mysteries of the universe, he writes, and thanks to the work of Kant and Schopenhauer, we must now recognize this fact. The time is ripe for a rebirth of tragedy that will sweep away the dusty remains of Socratic culture. Nietzsche sees German music, Wagner in particular, as the beginning of this transformation. While German culture is decrepit, the German character is going strong, for it has an inkling of the primordial vitality flowing in its veins. Nietzsche has great hope for the coming age and has written this book to prepare us for it. ========== Bacchus god of wine Bacchantes and bacchanals In classical antiquity ceremonies celebrating the wine god Dionysus or Bacchus were the scene of orgiastic rites. In a state of ecstasy the followers of the cult of Bacchus, known as Bacchantes, carried out the most heinous acts that included tearing wild animals limb from limb. The painter dressed as Bacchus on a barrel, as portrayed by Philips Koninck, is in fact a later depiction of the Bacchus cult, which had its origins in ancient Greece. The worship of Bacchus as the god of wine was the subject of a number of seventeenth-century paintings. Dionysus and Bacchus Dionysus was born from the thigh of Zeus - the supreme ruler of the gods - having been sewn into it when his terrestrial mother Semele died in pregnancy. After his birth Dionysus, or Bacchus as he was also called in ancient Greece, was brought up by the nymphs who lived on the mythical Mount Nysa, where he spent his childhood and planted the first grapevine. On reaching adulthood he travelled through Asia Minor, the Middle East and the Mediterranean, teaching people the art of winegrowing. On the island of Naxos he encountered Ariadne - the daughter of the Cretan King Minos - whom he took for his wife. Dionysus was not only the god of wine, but also of fertility in general. Ecstatic bacchantes Chiefly associated with women, the worship of Dionysus or Bacchus took place every two years in the winter months, when the bacchantes took off to the mountains. Once beyond the reach of their men folk, they were inspired to ecstatic frenzy, drinking excessive quantities of wine and dancing wildly to the clashing of cymbals and the pounding of their long staffs. Dressed in flowing white robes, their hair hanging loose and a deer skin draped round their shoulders, they whirled in the dance with burning torches and poisonous serpents. These orgiastic rites provided the theme of The Bacchae by the Greek tragic dramatist Euripides. The drama reaches its climax when the frenzied Theban Queen Agave tears her own son Pentheus to pieces. Although Euripides deliberately emphasised these events for dramatic effect, other sources reveal that at the pitch of their ecstasy the bacchantes were driven to acts of appalling savagery, which explains why the cult was suppressed by the Roman Senate. An interest in the cult remained however. Jan van Neck’s large picture at the Gemäldegalerie Alte Meister in Dresden is a seventeenth-century variation of a bacchanal, although here the priestesses are offering a sacrifice not to Bacchus but to Pan, the god of woods. Even today a fascination for the Bacchic cult survives, recently reflected in the American writer Donna Tart’s highly successful book The Secret History (1992), which tells the story of four students who, under the influence of a zealous teacher and intoxicated by drink, drugs and sleeplessness, reenact Bacchic rites, which end in the murder of an innocent farmer. Bacchus in art From the Renaissance on, Bacchus and Bacchic feasts form a recurrent theme in Western art. The god himself is usually depicted as a slim youth crowned with a wreath of vineleaves or grapes, thus standing out from his retinue led by the old drunkard Silenus accompanied by satyrs - goat-footed, horned human figures. With his goat-like face and rough hairy hoofs, Pan the god of nature is also associated with the worship of Bacchus. Pan and satyrs, along with goats, personify sensual lust. In the seventeenth-century, representations of Bacchus were highly prized for their playful erotic character and were not regarded as obscene because of their reference to Greek mythology. Suggestive eroticism from classical antiquity was tolerated, as was nudity in pastoral pictures. Innocent bacchanals Bacchantes - depictions of priestesses of Bacchus, the god of the grape-vine - gave rise to bacchanals which portray feasts in honour of Bacchus in a more general way. Jan van Neck’s large picture in Dresden is a true bacchante complete with priestesses. These female devotees of Bacchus are missing in Putti and Satyr with a Goat by the same painter. Nonetheless all the figures - wood gods, putti, satyrs - are mythological and are seen riding on the goat of Lust or otherwise engaged in Bacchic rites. Depictions of satyrs and cloven-hoofed beasts setting upon innocent nymphs in woods were extremely popular in the seventeenth century, and examples are found in painted grisailles until the late eighteenth century. The Bentvueghels, by contrast, did not reenact any specific Bacchic rites. They were simply ordinary seventeenth-century folk who banded together for merriment - a bacchanal, or drinking bout - in honour of the wine god Bacchus. In the seventeenth century the word bacchanal was used in a more general sense. A bacchanal of the gods refers to a banquet of the gods, and has little to do with ancient Bacchic rites. ========= Orpheus by James Hunter Cite, rate, or print article Send comment Used sources Orpheus was the son of Calliope and either Oeagrus or Apollo. He was the greatest musician and poet of Greek myth, whose songs could charm wild beasts and coax even rocks and trees into movement. He was one of the Argonauts, and when the Argo had to pass the island of the Sirens, it was Orpheus' music which prevented the crew from being lured to destruction. When Orpheus' wife, Eurydice, was killed by the bite of a serpent, he went down to the underworld to bring her back. His songs were so beautiful that Hades finally agreed to allow Eurydice to return to the world of the living. However, Orpheus had to meet one condition: he must not look back as he was conducting her to the surface. Just before the pair reached the upper world, Orpheus looked back, and Eurydice slipped back into the netherworld once again. Orpheus was inconsolable at this second loss of his wife. He spurned the company of women and kept apart from ordinary human activities. A group of Ciconian Maenads, female devotees of Dionysus, came upon him one day as he sat singing beneath a tree. They attacked him, throwing rocks, branches, and anything else that came to hand. However, Orpheus' music was so beautiful that it charmed even inanimate objects, and the missiles refused to strike him. Finally, the Maenads' attacked him with their own hands, and tore him to pieces. Orpheus' head floated down the river, still singing, and came to rest on the isle of Lesbos. Orpheus was also reputed to be the founder of the Orphic religious cult. Notes: Cato. Cantos 1.31-108, 2.118-23; Angel. Canto 2.13-51; Casella. Canto 2.76-114; Manfred. Canto 3.103-45; Belacqua. Canto 4.97-135; Buonconte da Montefeltro. Canto 5.85-129; La Pia. Canto 5.130-6; Purgatory; Allegory. Canto 2.46-8 Gallery Audio Study Questions Home Notes Cato. Cantos 1.31-108, 2.118-23 In Sumerian Sumer (or Shumer, Sumeria, Shinar, native ki-en-gir) formed the southern part of Mesopotamia from the time of settlement by the Sumerians until the time of Babylonia. Sumerian cuneiform script may pre-date any other form of writing, and dates to no later than about 3500 BC. Early History The term "Sumerian" is actually an exonym , first applied by the Akkadians. The Sumerians described themselves as "the black-headed people" (sag-gi-ga) and called their land Ki-en-gi, "place of the civilized lords". The Akkadian word ..... Click the link for more information. and Akkadian Akkad was a region of northern Mesopotamia, between Assyria to the northwest and Sumer to the south, for the period in ancient history before the time of Babylonia. Akkad was settled by people speaking the Akkadian language. Akkad is also an alternative name for Agade, a leading city of the region. Babylonia was formed out of the combined territories of Akkad and Sumer, with the Akkadian language evolving to form the language of Babylonia and the Sumerian language falling into disuse. ..... Click the link for more information. (Babylonian Babylonia was an ancient state in Mesopotamia (in modern Iraq), combining the territories of Sumer and Akkad. Its capital was Babylon. The earliest mention of Babylon can be found in a tablet of the reign of Sargon of Akkad, dating back to around 2400 BC. See also Babylonia and Assyria Babylonian law Babylonian literature and science Chronology of Babylonia and Assyria ..... Click the link for more information. and Assyrian For the ancient Mesopotamian kingdom, see Assyria. Assyrians are the indigenous Nestorian Christians in northern Iraq - members of the Assyrian Church of the East - who read and write Aramaic, a Semitic language which is used in their religious observances. Locally also called Arameans, the Assyrians claim descent from the Assyrian nation that conquered ancient Syria, Israel and Mesopotamia in the 8th and 7th centuries BCE. As is the norm in such claims of being autochthonous, an unbroken historical connection cannot be proved. DNA research would be more suggestive if there were an ancient Assyrian example to provide a base point. ..... Click the link for more information. ) mythology Ereshkigal, wife of Nergal The name Nergal (or Nirgal or Nirgali) refers to a solar deity in Babylonia with the main seat of his cult at Kutha or Cuthah, represented by the mound of Tell-Ibrahim. The importance of Kutha as a religious and at one time also as a political centre led to his surviving the tendency to concentrate the various sun-cults of Babylonia in Shamash. He becomes, however, the representative ..... Click the link for more information. , was the goddess of Hell For alternative meanings see Hell (disambiguation). Hell is, according to many religious beliefs about the afterlife, a place of torment, of great weeping and gnashing of teeth. The English word 'hell' comes from Old English 'Hel', which originally referred to the goddess of the underworld. In most religions' concept of hell, evildoers will suffer eternally in hell after their death or they will pay for their bad deeds in hell before reincarnations. ..... Click the link for more information. . She managed the destiny of those who were beyond the grave, in the Underworld For other meanings of the word "underworld" see Underworld (disambiguation) In the study of mythology and religion, the underworld is a generic term, referring to any place to which newly-dead souls go. See also: psychopomp. Canto V Goddess Kali Ma - Liberator of Souls - Destroyer of Negativity The Goddess Kali Ma is the supreme feminine manifestation of compassion as she frees us from the prison of our own ego. Discover the many other forms of the Goddess here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The name Kali derives from the Sanskrit root word Kal meaning time. Nothing escapes from time. Her Tibetan Buddhism counterpart is named Kala, a male figure. Of the Hindu goddesses, Goddess Kali Ma is the most misunderstood. The Encyclopedia Britannica is very mistaken in this quote, "Major Hindu goddess whose iconography, cult, and mythology commonly associate her with death, sexuality, violence, and, paradoxically in some of her later historical appearances, motherly love." It is partially accurate to say the Goddess Kali Ma is a goddess of death. However, She brings the death of the ego as the delusional self-centered view of reality. Nowhere in the sriptures is She seen killing anything but demons nor is She associated exclusively with the process of human dying like Yama the Hindu god of death. Both Goddess Kali Ma and Shiva are said to inhabit cremation grounds and devotees often go to these places to meditate. The purpose is not to glorify death but to overcome the I-am-the-body idea. The cremation grounds reinforce the idea that the body is a temporary. Kali and Shiva are said to dwell in these places because it is our attachment to the body that gives rise to the ego. Kali and Shiva give liberation by dissolving the illusion of the ego. Thus we are the ever-existing I AM and not the impermanent body. This is emphasized by the scene in the cremation grounds. Out of all the Devi forms, Kali is the most compassionate because She provides moksha or liberation to Her children. She is the counterpart of Shiva. They are the destroyers of unreality. When the ego sees Mother Kali it trembles with fear because the ego sees in Her its own eventual demise. An individual who is attached to his/her ego will not be able to receive the vision of Mother Kali and She will appear in a fear invoking or "wrathful" form. A mature soul who engages in spiritual practice to remove the illusion of the ego sees Mother Kali as very sweet, affectionate, and overflowing with incomprehensible love for Her children. Ma Kali wears a garland made of 52 skulls and a skirt made of dismembered arms because the ego comes out of identification with the body. In fact, we are beings of spirit and not flesh. So liberation can only prevail when our attachment to the body comes to an end. Therefore, the skirt and garland are trophies worn by Her to represent the liberation of Her children from attachment to the finite body. In two of Her hands, She holds a sword and a freshly severed head that is dripping blood. This represents a great battle in which she defeated the demon Raktabija. Her black (or sometimes dark blue) skin represents the womb of the unmanifest from which all of creation is born and into which all of creation will eventually return. Goddess Kali Ma is depicted as standing on a white skinned Shiva who is lying beneath Her. His white skin is in contrast to Her black or sometimes dark blue skin. He is showing a blissful detached look on His face. Shiva is pure formless awareness sat-chit-ananda (being-consciousness-bliss) while She represents "form" eternally sustained by the underpinning of pure awareness. Through ignorance of the story behind Goddess Kali Ma it is easy to misinterpret Her symbolism. In the same way one could say that Christianity is a religion of destruction, death, and cannibalism in which the followers drink the eat the flesh of Jesus and drink his blood. Of course, we know this is not the correct way to understand the communion sacrament. Associating sexuality to Mother Kali is not founded in the traditional understanding of Her. In the Hindu stories, there is nothing that associates Her with sexuality. It is just the opposite. Kali is one of the few Goddesses who is celibate and practicing renunciation! The idea that She is the goddess of death, sex and violence is simply not true. When we study the life of the great saint Ramakrishna or the great poet saint Ramprasad (both famous Kali worshippers), or listen to traditional Hindu devotional songs to Goddess Kali Ma, there is no suggestion of this death-sex-violence idea. This can also be substantiated by going to any of the Hindu websites such as www.hindunet.com and reading about Her. Anyone sincerely interested in Mother Kali should read the book Kali: The Black Goddess of Dakshineswar, by Elizabeth Harding. In addition, there is a beautiful traditional Kali temple in Laguna Beach, California which may be visited on-line at www.kalimandir.org. Goddess Kali Ma is the goddess of liberation or enlightenment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The book Soft Moon Shining by Ethan Walker III is a work of devotional poetry that revolves around God in the feminine form. Like Rumi, Hafiz and Ramprasad, Soft Moon Shining beautifully and effortlessly ferries the reader into the realm of the Divine on the ship of innocent love. It is an invitation to step into the heart of the Goddess - the all-pervading Divine Mother of the Universe. The Goddess is ready to shower Her love and affection on any who care to turn their gaze toward Her luminous heart. ======= Second Circle of Hell: Lustful Dante and Virgil descend into the second circle. At the gate to the circle stands Minos, son of Zeus and Europa, King of Crete, and known for his wisdom and judicial kings. His purpose is to appoint all that enter hell to what level of hell they must go. After strong words from Virgil, Minos allows them to pass. In this level, all that sin in lust, or "those who make reason slave to appetite" (ln 37-38), are condemned. Such examples of this type of sin are Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, who loved men’s lusting, Achilles, who lost his life to love in combat, Paris, whose abduction of Helen ignited the Trojan War, and Tristan, a central figure of many medieval romances. Their punishment is an infernal storm that lashes at them with rage and punishment. Dante feels pity for these sinners. He calls out to two, who are deemed by many critics to be Francesca and Paolo Malatesta. They were punished to this level because of Francesca’s love affair with Paolo. Francesca’s husband and Paolo’s brother Gianciotto slew them both after finding them in a amorous embrace. They tell their story to which he responds by fainting. In this canto Dante continues the light imagery motif. This is he first time no light is expressed, as seen in lines 28, "I came to a place where no light shone at all." This is to signify that they are without any reason. =============== Underworlds Aboriginal mythology Beralku Akkadian mythology Ereshkigal ruled in Hell, where she was queen. Ereshkigal was the only one who could pass judgement and give laws in her kingdom. Her main temples were at Kutha and Sippar Sippara (Zimbir in Sumerian, Sippar in Assyro-Babylonian) was an ancient Babylonian city on the east bank of the Euphrates, north of Babylon. It was divided into two quarters, "Sippar of the Sun-god" and "Sippar of the goddess Anunit," the former of which was discovered by Hormuzd Rassam in 1881 at Abu-Habba, 16 miles southeast of Bagdad. Two other Sippars are mentioned in the inscriptions, one of them being "Sippar of Eden," which must have been an additional quarter of the city. It is possible that one of them should be identified with Agade or Akkad, the capital of the first Semitic Babylonian Empire. ..... Click the link for more information. . ==== A stern, father-like figure, Cato of Utica (95-46 B.C.E.) was a Roman military leader and statesman. Dante describes Cato as having a long grizzled beard and graying hair falling down over his chest in two tresses; his face is illuminated by starlight (as if he were facing the sun). As the warden or guardian of the mountain of Purgatory, Cato performs a role somewhat similar to that of Charon in Hell. Dante seems to have assigned this prominent role to Cato because he so valued freedom that he gave his life for it (1.71-2): the historical Cato chose suicide over submission to tyranny after he was defeated (along with Pompey) in the civil war against Julius Caesar. Classical authors, including Cicero, Seneca, and Lucan, considered Cato the embodiment of moral and political rectitude. Virgil, for instance, presents Cato as one who gives laws to the righteous (Aen. 8.670). Based on this reputation, Cato was thought to possess in full the four cardinal (moral) virtues, symbolized here by the four "holy" stars lighting his face (1.37-9). Dante follows this legacy of praise for Cato, despite his status as a pagan suicide who opposed Caesar, by calling him in an earlier work the human being best suited to represent God (Convivio 4.28.15) and by now imagining his spiritual salvation (freed from Limbo at Christ's Harrowing of Hell) and divinely-ordained function in the afterlife. Back to top. ====== SAINT MICHAEL, the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into Hell Satan and the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls. Amen. St. Michael, the Archangel Feastday: September 29 First defender of Jesus Christ in his Sacred Humanity and of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the Mystery of the Incarnation. Associated with the miracles manifesting the almighty power of God with the Blessed Virgin Mary . ( Daniel 10:12 ; 12:1 ; Apoc. 12:7 ) Patron of grocers, mariners, paratroopers, police, and sickness Regardless of which major faith's angelic beings is being followed, Michael ranks as the highest of the host. With Gabriel, Michael is the only angel mentioned in the Bible. In the Aggadah, he is seen as the guardian of Israel. He is the head of all the great warring angels who do battle against evil. Michael is often depicted as winged and with unsheathed sword. In the Renaissance period, he is shown as young, strong, and handsome, wearing a splendid coat of mail and equipped with sword, shield and spear. His wings are generally conspicuous and very grand. He usually holds in his hand the scales of justice. In Muslim lore, Michael's wings are said to be "the color of green emerald," and he is covered with "Saffron hairs, each of them containing a million faces and mouths and as many tongues which, in a million dialects, implore the pardon of Allah." The name Michael signifies "Who is like to God?" and was the war cry of the angels in the battle fought in heaven against Satan and his followers. Holy Scripture describes St. Michael as "one of the chief princes," and as leader of the forces of heaven in their triumph over the powers of hell. He has been especially honored and invoked as patron and protector by the Church from the time of the Apostles. Although he is always called "the Archangel," the Greek Fathers and many others place him over all the Angels - as Prince of the Seraphim. Michael is the protection Archangel, patron of policemen and bringer of the gift of patience. Angel of careers, courage, achievements, ambitions, motivation, and life tasks. He is the great prince charged to defend the people. Legend tells that the Cherubim were formed from the tears Michael shed over the sins of the faithful. God has created the Archangel Michael and put him in charge of nature, rain, snow, thunder, lightning, wind, and clouds. God has appointed a complete creation of angels to assist him and placed them under his command. These angels are countless and no-one other than God knows their number. God has given Michael power to see the entire span of the created universes at once, with no interference of other universes. He knows at all times where he has to send rain, wind, snow, and clouds without effort on his part. The angels who assist him range in size from the hugest size imaginable to man to that of the smallest species living on this earth. They fill the entire atmosphere of every star and planet in every universe. Their praise to God can be heard by the other angels, by prophets, by saints, and by young children. Michael is the angel of mercy which is another name for rain in Arabic. He is created from the light of God's attribute al-Rahman, "the Merciful." He was never seen smiling after hell was created. He was created before Gabriel. Archangel Michael is believed to have appeared to Moses as the fire in the burning bush, and to have rescued Daniel from the lions' den. To Christians, he's the angel who informed Mary of her approaching death. Once upon a time, Gabriel and Michael visited the Prophet Muhammad, Peace be upon him. The latter had a toothstick in hand which he immediately handed to Gabriel, the angel who constantly brought him Revelation. Gabriel said: "O Muhammad! give it to the elder angel." The Prophet gave it to Michael. The Prophet said: "God gave me two celestial assistants to help me deliver my Message: Gabriel and Michael." He used always to send for Gabriel and Michael concerning matters important to human beings. The caller to prayer (muezzin) in the heavens is Gabriel and the prayer-leader (imam) is Michael. God created a house for Himself in Paradise (al-Bayt al-Ma`mur) to which the angels make pilgrimage every day five times. There, five prayer-services are held and every service is heralded by Gabriel and led by Michael. The angels all come with their lights and ornaments, their jewels and fragrances, chanting and praising God with their heavenly music. Some people on earth, especially children, are able to hear their voices. This sound gives them indescribable pleasure. Every angel chants and praises in a different language without clash or disharmony. All are pleading to God for mercy for human beings and asking Him to elevate the state of people so that they can hear and see these daily ceremonies. To reward the angels for their praise, for the sincerity of their intercession, and to show them the great extent of His mercy, God at every moment showers His mercy on human beings. Until the time of the Prophet Noah the House of God existed on the face of the earth. People came from all over the world to walk ceremoniously around it the way pilgrims walk around the Ka`ba in Mecca today. When God set His face on sending the flood to drown the entire world, He ordered His angels to transport the Heavenly House up into the fourth heaven. It spands there until now with the angels walking continually around in solemn state. It was transformed into a Palace of Paradise. Its only remnant on earth is the Black Stone in the Holy Kaaba: it used to be white like the Palace it came from but has been clouded over blackened by the sins of mankind. It has been left on earth for the sake of remembrance. All who kiss it, it is as if they are kissing the right hand of God on earth. In the Catholic Epistle of St. Jude: "When Michael phe Archangel, disputing with the devil, contended about the body of Moses", etc. St. Jude alludes to an ancient Jewish tradition of a dispute between Michael and Satan over the body of Moses, an account of which is also found in the apocryphal book on the assumption of Moses (Origen, "De principiis", III, 2, 2). St. Michael concealed the tomb of Moses; Satan, however, by disclosing it, tried to seduce the Jewish people to the sin of hero-worship. St. Michael also guards the body of Eve, according to the "Revelation of Moses" ("Apocryphal Gospels", etc., ed. A. Walker, Edinburgh, p. 647). It was from early times the centre of the true cult of the holy angels, particularly of St. Michael. Tradition relates that St. Michael in the earliest ages caused a medicinal spring to spout at Chairotopa near Colossae, where all the sick who bathed there, invoking the Blessed Trinity and St. Michael, were cured. The Christians of Egypt placed their life-giving river, the Nile under the protection of St. Michael; they adopted the Greek feast and kept it 12 November; on the twelfth of every month they celebrate a special commemoration of the archangel, but 12 June, whan the river commences to rise, they keep as a holiday of obligation the feast of St. Michael "for the rising of the Nile", euche eis ten symmetron anabasin ton potamion hydaton. Chief among the angel-princes,appearing as such in the Old Testament books of Enoch and Daniel. In Revelations, it is Michael who leads an army of God's angels against Satan. He is an angel of repentance, mercy, and righteousness, appearing in Islamic, Jewish, and Christian "angelology". He is often depicted with a sword... I HAVE SOME SUPER WICKED SHIT COOKING IN THE MIND. St. Michael (8 Nov.), Feast day The Archangel Michael, whose name means 'who is as God', is generally considered to be the foremost of the seven archangels and the leader of the Host of Heaven. He derives originally from the Chaldeans by who he was worshiped as something of a god. He is the chief of the order of virtues, Prince of the presence, angel of repentance, righteousness, mercy and sanctification: also ruler of the 4th Heaven, tutelary sar (angelic prince). He is the prince who defended the Israelites and later, it was claimed, the Christian Church, when as guardian he may be called on (sometimes with Gabriel) to defend church doors against the evil angels. According to the Book of Revelations, Michael and his angels' are described as fighting the dragon and his angels. Hence Michael is often shown fighting or overcoming a dragon armed with spear or sword as God's Warrior. Michael is the spirit of the planet Mercury, Governor of the North and the element of Earth. He is ruler over Sunday and Thursday. He is the alchemy of motivation, activation and achievement. Michael's candle colors are orange, white and gold. His color energies are orange, violet, white, crystal, gold, and brown. Invoke Michael in the North for motivation and empowerment in your work. Call on him to protect you from day to day. ========= Angels (Latin angelus; Greek aggelos; from the Hebrew for "one going" or "one sent"; messenger). The word is used in Hebrew to denote indifferently either a divine or human messenger. The Septuagint renders it by aggelos which also has both significations. The Latin version, however, distinguishes the divine or spirit-messenger from the human, rendering the original in the one case by angelus and in the other by legatus or more generally by nuntius. In a few passages the Latin version is misleading, the word angelus being used where nuntius would have better expressed the meaning, e.g. Isaiah 18:2; 33:3, 6. It is with the spirit-messenger alone that we are here concerned. We have to discuss the meaning of the term in the Bible, the offices of the angels, the names assigned to the angels, the distinction between good and evil spirits, the divisions of the angelic choirs, the question of angelic appearances, and the development of the scriptural idea of angels. The angels are represented throughout the Bible as a body of spiritual beings intermediate between God and men: "You have made him (man) a little less than the angels" (Psalm 8:6). They, equally with man, are created beings; "praise ye Him, all His angels: praise ye Him, all His hosts . . . for He spoke and they were made. He commanded and they were created" (Psalm 148:2, 5: Colossians 1:16, 17). That the angels were created was laid down in the Fourth Lateran Council (1215). The decree "Firmiter" against the Albigenses declared both the fact that they were created and that men were created after them. This decree was repeated by the Vatican Council, "Dei Filius". We mention it here because the words: "He that liveth for ever created all things together" (Ecclesiasticus 18:1) have been held to prove a simultaneous creation of all things; but it is generally conceded that "together" (simul) may here mean "equally", in the sense that all things were "alike" created. They are spirits; the writer of the Epistle to the Hebrews says: "Are they not all ministering spirits, sent to minister to them who shall receive the inheritance of salvation?" (Heb. i, 14). Attendants at God's throne It is as messengers that they most often figure in the Bible, but, as St. Augustine, and after him St. Gregory, expresses it: angelus est nomen officii ("angel is the name of the office") and expresses neither their essential nature nor their essential function, viz.: that of attendants upon God's throne in that court of heaven of which Daniel has left us a vivid picture: I behold till thrones were placed, and the Ancient of Days sat: His garment was white as snow, and the hair of His head like clean wool: His throne like flames of fire: the wheels of it like a burning fire. A swift stream of fire issued forth from before Him: thousands of thousands ministered to Him, and ten thousand times a hundred thousand stood before Him: the judgment sat and the books were opened. (Daniel 7:9-10; cf. also Psalm 96:7; Psalm 102:20; Isaiah 6, etc.) This function of the angelic host is expressed by the word "assistance" (Job, i, 6: ii, 1), and our Lord refers to it as their perpetual occupation (Matt., xviii, 10). More than once we are told of seven angels whose special function it is thus to "stand before God's throne" (Tob., xii, 15; Apoc., viii, 2-5). The same thought may be intended by "the angel of His presence" (Is., lxiii, 9) an expression which also occurs in the pseudo-epigraphical "Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs". God's messengers to mankind But these glimpses of life beyond the veil are only occasional. The angels of the Bible generally appear in the role of God's messengers to mankind. They are His instruments by whom He communicates His will to men, and in Jacob's vision they are depicted as ascending and descending the ladder which stretches from earth to heaven while the Eternal Father gazes upon the wanderer below. It was an angel who found Agar in the wilderness (Gen., xvi); angels drew Lot out of Sodom; an angel announces to Gideon that he is to save his people; an angel foretells the birth of Samson (Judges, xiii), and the angel Gabriel instructs Daniel (Dan., viii, 16), though he is not called an angel in either of these passages, but "the man Gabriel" (9:21). The same heavenly spirit announced the birth of St. John the Baptist and the Incarnation of the Redeemer, while tradition ascribes to him both the message to the shepherds (Luke, ii, 9), and the most glorious mission of all, that of strengthening the King of Angels in His Agony (Luke 22:43). The spiritual nature of the angels is manifested very clearly in the account which Zacharias gives of the revelations bestowed upon him by the ministry of an angel. The prophet depicts the angel as speaking "in him". He seems to imply that he was conscious of an interior voice which was not that of God but of His messenger. The Massoretic text, the Septuagint, and the Vulgate all agree in thus describing the communications made by the angel to the prophet. It is a pity that the "Revised Version" should, in apparent defiance of the above-named texts, obscure this trait by persistently giving the rendering: "the angel that talked with me: instead of "within me" (cf. Zach., i, 9, 13, 14; ii, 3; iv, 5; v, 10). Such appearances of angels generally last only so long as the delivery of their message requires, but frequently their mission is prolonged, and they are represented as the constituted guardians of the nations at some particular crisis, e.g. during the Exodus (Exod., xiv, 19; Baruch, vi, 6). Similarly it is the common view of the Fathers that by "the prince of the Kingdom of the Persians" (Dan., x, 13; x, 21) we are to understand the angel to whom was entrusted the spiritual care of that kingdom, and we may perhaps see in the "man of Macedonia" who appeared to St. Paul at Troas, the guardian angel of that country (Acts. xvi, 9). The Septuagint (Deut., xxxii, 8), has preserved for us a fragment of information on this head, though it is difficult to gauge its exact meaning: "When the Most High divided the nations, when He scattered the children of Adam, He established the bounds of the nations according to the number of the angels of God". How large a part the ministry of angels played, not merely in Hebrew theology, but in the religious ideas of other nations as well, appears from the expression "like to an angel of God". It is three times used of David (II K., xiv, 17, 20; xiv, 27) and once by Achis of Geth (I K., xxlx, 9). It is even applied by Esther to Assuerus (Esther, xv, 16), and St. Stephen's face is said to have looked "like the face of an angel" as he stood before the Sanhedrin (Acts, vi, 15). Personal guardians Throughout the Bible we find it repeatedly implied that each individual soul has its tutelary angel. Thus Abraham, when sending his steward to seek a wife for Isaac, says: "He will send His angel before thee" (Genesis 24:7). The words of the ninetieth Psalm which the devil quoted to our Lord (Matt., iv, 6) are well known, and Judith accounts for her heroic deed by saying: "As the Lord liveth, His angel hath been my keeper" (xiii, 20). These passages and many like them (Gen., xvi, 6-32; Osee, xii, 4; III K., xix, 5; Acts, xii, 7; Ps., xxxiii, 8), though they will not of themselves demonstrate the doctrine that every individual has his appointed guardian angel, receive their complement in our Saviour's words: "See that you despise not on of these little ones; for I say to you that their angels in Heaven always see the face of My Father Who is in Heaven" (Matt, xviii, 10), words which illustrate the remark of St. Augustine: "What lies hidden in the Old Testament, is made manifest in the New". Indeed, the book of Tobias seems intended to teach this truth more than any other, and St. Jerome in his commentary on the above words of our Lord says: "The dignity of a soul is so great, that each has a guardian angel from its birth." The general doctrine that the angels are our appointed guardians is considered to be a point of faith, but that each individual member of the human race has his own individual guardian angel is not of faith (de fide); the view has, however, such strong support from the Doctors of the Church that it would be rash to deny it (cf. St. Jerome, supra). Peter the Lombard (Sentences, lib. II, dist. xi) was inclined to think that one angel had charge of several individual human beings. St. Bernard's beautiful homilies (11-14) on the ninetieth Psalm breathe the spirit of the Church without however deciding the question. The Bible represents the angels not only as our guardians, but also as actually interceding for us. "The angel Raphael (Tob., xii, 12) says: "I offered thy prayer to the Lord" (cf. Job, v, 1 (Septuagint), and 33:23 (Vulgate); Apocalypse 8:4). The Catholic cult of the angels is thus thoroughly scriptural. Perhaps the earliest explicit declaration of it is to be found in St. Ambrose's words: "We should pray to the angels who are given to us as guardians" (De Viduis, ix); (cf. St. Aug., Contra Faustum, xx, 21). An undue cult of angels was reprobated by St. Paul (Col., ii, 18), and that such a tendency long remained in the same district is evidenced by Canon 35 of the Synod of Laodicea. As Divine Agents Governing The World The foregoing passages, especially those relating to the angels who have charge of various districts, enable us to understand the practically unanimous view of the Fathers that it is the angels who put into execution God's law regarding the physical world. The Semitic belief in genii and in spirits which cause good or evil is well known, and traces of it are to be found in the Bible. Thus the pestilence which devastated Israel for David's sin in numbering the people is attributed to an angel whom David is said to have actually seen (II K., xxiv, 15-17), and more explicitly, I Par., xxi, 14-18). Even the wind rustling in the tree-tops was regarded as an angel (II K., v, 23, 24; I Par., xiv, 14, 15). This is more explicitly stated with regard to the pool of Probatica (John, v, 1-4), though these is some doubt about the text; in that passage the disturbance of the water is said to be due to the periodic visits of an angel. The Semites clearly felt that all the orderly harmony of the universe, as well as interruptions of that harmony, were due to God as their originator, but were carried out by His ministers. This view is strongly marked in the "Book of Jubilees" where the heavenly host of good and evil angels is every interfering in the material universe. Maimonides (Directorium Perplexorum, iv and vi) is quoted by St. Thomas Aquinas (Summa Theol., I:1:3) as holding that the Bible frequently terms the powers of nature angels, since they manifest the omnipotence of God (cf. St. Jerome, In Mich., vi, 1, 2; P. L., iv, col. 1206). Hierarchical organization Though the angels who appear in the earlier works of the Old Testament are strangely impersonal and are overshadowed by the importance of the message they bring or the work they do, there are not wanting hints regarding the existence of certain ranks in the heavenly army. After Adam's fall Paradise is guarded against our First Parents by cherubim who are clearly God's ministers, though nothing is said of their nature. Only once again do the cherubim figure in the Bible, viz., in Ezechiel's marvellous vision, where they are described at great length (Ezech., i), and are actually called cherub in Ezechiel, x. The Ark was guarded by two cherubim, but we are left to conjecture what they were like. It has been suggested with great probability that we have their counterpart in the winged bulls and lions guarding the Assyrian palaces, and also in the strange winged men with hawks' heads who are depicted on the walls of some of their buildings. The seraphim appear only in the vision of Isaias, vi, 6. Mention has already been made of the mystic seven who stand before God, and we seem to have in them an indication of an inner cordon that surrounds the throne. The term archangel occurs only in St. Jude and I Thess., iv, 15; but St. Paul has furnished us with two other lists of names of the heavenly cohorts. He tells us (Ephes., i, 21) that Christ is raised up "above all principality, and power, and virtue, and dominion"; and, writing to the Colossians (i, 16), he says: "In Him were all things created in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominations, or principalities or powers." It is to be noted that he uses two of these names of the powers of darkness when (ii, 15) he talks of Christ as "despoiling the principalities and powers . . . triumphing over them in Himself". And it is not a little remarkable that only two verses later he warns his readers not to be seduced into any "religion of angels". He seems to put his seal upon a certain lawful angelology, and at the same time to warn them against indulging superstition on the subject. We have a hint of such excesses in the Book of Enoch, wherein, as already stated, the angels play a quite disproportionate part. Similarly Josephus tells us (Be. Jud., II, viii, 7) that the Essenes had to take a vow to preserve the names of the angels. We have already seen how (Daniel 10:12-21) various districts are allotted to various angels who are termed their princes, and the same feature reappears still more markedly in the Apocalyptic "angels of the seven churches", though it is impossible to decide what is the precise signification of the term. These seven Angels of the Churches are generally regarded as being the Bishops occupying these sees. St. Gregory Nazianzen in his address to the Bishops at Constantinople twice terms them "Angels", in the language of the Apocalypse. The treatise "De Coelesti Hierarchia", which is ascribed to St. Denis the Areopagite, and which exercised so strong an influence upon the Scholastics, treats at great length of the hierarchies and orders of the angels. It is generally conceded that this work was not due to St. Denis, but must date some centuries later. Though the doctrine it contains regarding the choirs of angels has been received in the Church with extraordinary unanimity, no proposition touching the angelic hierarchies is binding on our faith. The following passages from St. Gregory the Great (Hom. 34, In Evang.) will give us a clear idea of the view of the Church's doctors on the point: We know on the authority of Scripture that there are nine orders of angels, viz., Angels, Archangels, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Dominations, Throne, Cherubim and Seraphim. That there are Angels and Archangels nearly every page of the Bible tell us, and the books of the Prophets talk of Cherubim and Seraphim. St. Paul, too, writing to the Ephesians enumerates four orders when he says: 'above all Principality, and Power, and Virtue, and Domination'; and again, writing to the Colossians he says: 'whether Thrones, or Dominations, or Principalities, or Powers'. If we now join these two lists together we have five Orders, and adding Angels and Archangels, Cherubim and Seraphim, we find nine Orders of Angels. St. Thomas (Summa Theologica I:108), following St. Denis (De Coelesti Hierarchia, vi, vii), divides the angels into three hierarchies each of which contains three orders. Their proximity to the Supreme Being serves as the basis of this divisio (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 6th, 2004
10:07 pm	It interests me no end that you find my life safe; at the least, it shows you cannot comprehend the situation at work. I do not fear bodily harm, though students carry firearms on campus on occassion. My work, clumsy and hapless as I regard it, has meaning, for, to be magniloquent, I soldier without thanks or regard or respect on the fery edge of night, and one thing I understand is that night is vast and night for many never ends - such a very thin line between our pink fat titted days and macerated night. I don't think myself particularly special or noble, characterizing my service as completely mercenary, but I have patrolled the wall, dedicated trooper or indifferent mercenary hungry for a fag to smoke, beer to quaff, or "kooty kat" to stroke between bombardments by ignorances' jackass legions, it matters not. Let it be said, they are relentless, ruthless, wild as starved hogs at the trough if not kept in check by force, threat of force. At days end I have often found myself enraged and exhausted, laid out on the carpet corpsewise, staring at the ceiling, hungry for a spot of nuliity without dream or thought or comprehension. Every insult, every idiot gape of laughter, every indifferent shrug: Tells a story most of us very bright little boys a skip through our days don't wish to examine too closely, as it tends to detract from our own pompous images.... Anyway, its not so safe as you think. Many days I stare at the abyss; I've watched them watching me so long, I forget too often what I confront each day. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
3:55 pm	Renaissance Vol. I This seems to be a kick ass compilation worth every penny. A must burn S/D set and the grandfather of all mix cd comps one encounters on the market today. I paid 96 dollars and had to work about three months more due to a mail mix up to receive it. Nice fat simple trance/progressive/techno circa 1994. I know a thousand thousand refrains from songs, but lyrics no longer compel me; they contract the focus of my mind; the empty space presented by progressive coupled with the syncopated rhythms allows the mind to expand. And this drop going into "For What You Dream Of" kicks ass... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
9:24 pm	April 21, 2004 A year has passed since my visit; tonight, I looked up from something I read and found myself assailed by a sense of extreme isolation. Pink as the wallpaper. I am mired in myself beyond extrication. I have stopped going out. Read, read, read, read. At present, I save money for my New York city escapade. I hope to find some sort of job and wash myself of this situation in Augusta. The most important thing one can do when in a situation like mine is to continue. Plod on when nothing comes, worry on when nothing happens. Push on. And allow nothing to distract you. That's the main thing, I think. Until I am pleased with my situation, until the constant stir no longer vibrates within, things remain as they are until they no longer do. I believe I will prove successful because I do not quail, though I wrestle the urge to disintegrate, and I have watched so many grow small and die their private little deaths.... I've died many times, I'm still figuring out what the latest life will prove, but I know I'm more myself again, even if I'm different. The sensual remains a preoccupation of mine. For a moment, it appeared I would be the favorite of 29 year old divorcees; they loved my presence because I am lean, I guess, and do not allow others to bother me. Things just get warmer and warmer and then I have a distant moment where, despite whatever expansive urges, I withdraw. What they have, I don't want. About the most pleasure I seem to get is from a sharp face of disdain made when someone puts their hand on me in the wrong way and I know all too quickly what little animal they think they're stroking. I take more pleasure out of the bizarre crushes/love/hates from my students; one girl wanted to know if she could hook me up with her sister, who likes white boys. This same student, odd but bright, and not the one who wrote the graphic but tedious erotic poetry, suggested I shave all my hair away. The one thing that seems to have mattered most to me: Aspiration and self-realization matter more to me than interpersonnel connection. One thing I grow reconciled to: If I am loved, and it remains to be seen, I am loved for talent and ability and brilliance of one sort or another, and only mothers and fathers love a person for themselves alone. My best friend in Augusta tells me often I am a brilliant man, as do the others, and I find it hard rocks indeed in a level, for their remains an ignorant little child within quite suspicious of any such. On one hand I devour every bit of praise, but at the same time, I loathe every honeyed comment. I find myself serving as confessor to others.. Everyone's problems are the same: they are not interesting in specifics, being quite repugnant on that level, because this or that man or woman imagined confessee ruminates upon proves a grim joke of a Trojan horse like all the rest. These romantic emperors and empresses have no clothes, and their favorites are fools to suppose there was anything there.The problems we pose to ourselves are never unusual. The most interesting thing: The systemic nature of these concerns; how can we all be so boring in the same way? The problem you face someone else faces, and I face, too, and that's far more interesting to suspect we all navigate in the same boat. I look at a subject alone, and they are fatuous, dull, and something cruel wants to run them through the candle flame, but when I place them in context among the myriad, they gain a grandeur and interest that they can not achieve on their own... Thanks for listening to the rant. And what is the student learning now? (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 17th, 2004
11:42 pm	Huh. This shit happens fast, but its alot, eh? ------ Life moves fast; lives moves slow; it carries on so awfully, awfuler and awfuler, then it all breaks way into riverine vistas and sunsets drunk on hooch: rasperry, peach, blackberry gut rot sipped pool side of the dock... The return to America: too easy by far to jump a plane west, plant my self in California: Such a joy. Gay skips down Glendale thoroughfares sky broken blue crystal. Venice Beach and marjiuana. I feel loved. Blue blue yes, endless light studded blue broken waters on the gray sand. Jaunts to the desert. Such vague idle ill formed words of pleasures shot out. The flint eyed days ensconced in ambush with bats and bricks, blunt objects for batterment, need not have taken care to surprise me, for I, feckless brute, hustled forth verged on illness swilled on opiates. They beat me well and hard, left me only gloom and antedeluvian pasta for nourishment: Glaze eyed hours doubled over, big brain and chest spasmed. Cold autumn mornings gray skied aside decrepit brick buildings. Flight to Atlanta, catalog of misadventure. Thus arrived in the land of Cain: din at night, rage at breakfast. Omit omit omit oh my: Fauxjocasta and Pseudoedipus, fresh bearded face braced against her large mature breasts and flat barren belly on wooden deck, both vodkacharmed. Only wanted to touch you she said. Days lone ranged with her white haired mutt Tonto. Jealous Cain demanded Abel commit the trigger but Abel fled, a failed executioner. No mark upon him but aloneness. Graeco summer evenings: Memoirs of Babur and Jehan, a mustering of Mughals, almond drunk potentates, and dark eyed wenches asleep aside churches under a summer sky. Idiotic Paolo determined to capture a pasty skank breasted Francesca, romance of weed and last resorts: Two characters at end of monstrous slaughter enamored of one another's living nature after all others have died or departed. Heavy gutted beauties sucking glass dicks' smoking white seed. A dull faced nigger at the table with his torch: Lesser lotus smokers famished, pale wraithish beauties, poor and insipid, glazed eyed. I myself all alone, lad out upon the floor rehearsing my wake, eyes clenched staring toward the ceiling all aching and glowing, ebb and flow of methamphetamine through thought and vision. Wanting to cast a cap to the moon's horns but discovered only beige ceiling. A yellow puppy fat bellied paws my face, runs its warm tongue across my cheek: I smile. Uncorrupted joy unruffled by muted hell. I find it unusual, but as it stands, I break myself to a most severe discipline of education, of denial, of retreat, of contemplation: I cannot boast of powerful surges of composition: Mostly the quiet things, the unrecorded things, the dry dust and dirt demanded before the glamorous drudgery: research and notes and reading and research and reading. Of my wan companionship, I recognize nothing similar. I impel myself to Igoresue excursions among the dead: Scavenge for arms and legs, find arms and legs not enough, arms and testicles not enough, heaping all leavings pell mell into a grotesque pile, not even scorning finger joints of better bodies. All rot, all slime, all carnage and weeping good grist for my table: So much dust on this shit to choke the most intrepid Jones. Exceptional things most often offer no reward, no recognition until death or our toms, formerly eager for fresh kooty cats as volcano gods for virgins, sigh shriveled as trellised grapes in drought at wistful thoughts of unpressed vintages: I starve to live, but drive myself to a riverine garret and acid free paper even as I dream of smooth bellies: Monotone whirr of spring insect swarm through the trees severed by cricket solos. Toil without reward, without sympathy, without desire for success, through aspiration into suffocation: past exhaustion of inspiration, past the overtaxed fields of the facile observation without meaning and down below, ears keyed to cave pool echos, the syncopated flutter of gimp finned thoughts brained to the surface as I sharpen ill-formed shadows to slit a moment's throat: A lean albescent body in a beige tub half full, back and legs and arms bent: Water momentarily engemmed in matted hair like scales: His eyes watch his eyes watch his dark staring eyes watching in the tarnished silver of the overflow: He plunges his face below the hot water's surface, weaves it back and forth, dark staring eyes clenched, sound water smothered, then out: falling water loudly resounds in sudden rush followed by sudden dribble. He sits up, rubs his eyes: The loud slimy burst of squelch as index knuckles pressure closed lids: The acoustics. Squelch, pop, slurp, of eyes under pressure. The pressure that pushes them closer to his brain. ATTENTION: Immediately. immediately. expressimmediately. immediately immediately attention. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 15th, 2004
8:45 pm	Opening to Canto III in Tuscan PER ME SI VA NA LA CITTA DOLENTE, PER ME SI VA NE L’ETTERNO DOLORE, PER ME SI VA TRA LA PERDUTA GENTE. GIUSTIZIA MOSSE IL MIO ALTO FATTORE; FECEMI LA DIVINA PODESTATE, LA SOMMA SAPIENZA E’L PRIMO AMORE DINANZI A ME NON FUOR COSE CREATE SE NON ETTERNE, E IO ETTERNO DURO. LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH’INTRATE. THROUGH ME THE WAY OF THE SUFFERING CITY, THROUGH ME THE WAY TO THE ETERNAL PAIN, THROUGH ME THE WAY THAT RUNS AMONG THE LOST. JUSTICE URGED ON MY HIGH ARTIFICER; MY MAKER WAS DIVINE AUTHORITY, THE HIGHEST WISDOM, AND THE PRIMAL LOVE. BEFORE ME NOTHING BUT ETERNAL THINGS WERE MADE, AND I ENDURE ETERNALLY. ABANDON EVERY HOPE, WHO ENTER HERE. I am teaching the Inferno. It goes well. I rock even if I leave. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
9:30 pm	Recent phenomenon repeated over and over again every other night of late: Sleep's first marches: semiconscious state in darkened bedroom: Scrutinizing the room, its blue shadows, the fan: Palpable certitude of inchoate malice glowering, infecting the atmosphere. I'm not afraid of it. If it cannot be discerned it cannot exist. Proud determination to defy, shake a fist at fear. I know it now, knew it then, will know it again: relentless opponent combatted countless times before rest across the years: Then I attempt to rise, lift my head from the pillows, cast aside sheets, fail the attempt. Unable to move: try and try: fail and fail: try again and again: fail again and again: Belief in unheard laughter with overwhelming impellment to motion thwarting: Geese soul's panic fullflighted hopeful for escape into shadow's sanctuary. Brute hostility all-smothering mockery inexorably silent. Racing thoughts of demon lions worrying their brokenbacked prey. Insincere prayer to god. Then it drags me here, there, sense the sheets moving under my legs, know myself heaved from the bed. Over and over and over again now. I scream. A highpitched boy's bitch blubber for mother gasped. A bifurcated consciousness: Even as idiot cries flutter from my lips (so much effort and energy) I await the lights to come on: the sleep weary query: are you alright: Dread the embarrassment: All only a horrid dream: Not off the bed: even now swathed in the sheets: but dread that it won't end, prove endless present: Then I know I'm awake. Same room, same shadows, sans dull malevolence. Wide winged relief takes flight. But worry to close eyes, slump into comfort. Lonely terror in dull darkened room to no poin, helplessness' revelation illuminated to no point. Unclean spirits crying with loud voices. The old man has taught you some tricks. You're damned right he has and now I'm going to do to you what you did to my father. I've opened myself to extreme possibilities. King Ashurbanipal. Honey I've got rhythms I haven't used yet. Mars needs women. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
9:07 pm	Schopenhauer, II I found a philospher tailored to my mind. Unlike most drivel people hoist up as wisdom, this works and suffered the slings and arrows of "peer review". It proffers hopeless answers..... You say you remain a student, though I know not what of, so I thought I would wrestle here with those things impinging on my consciousness. Schopenhauer lived in Germany during the 19th Century; his philosophy drew from ideas articulated by Kant, Hume, Locke, and various Eastern religions; he cites the Vedas and other Brahmanic thinkers as illustrations of his views. He tends to draw his illustrations from painting, literature, and music. His influence appears to be singularly remarkable, having gained the respect of figures as diverse as Nietzsche and Samuel Beckett. First off, he presents a radical solisipsism. The world is MY idea. I am the subject, the world is the object. Without the subject knowing, the object does not exist. They form two halves of one whole. The non-existence of other beings I gather to be dismissed as lunacy. IE, the world might be Ben's dream, and you are a participant of that dream, but you, too, have your own dream existing only for you: The world. If you cease to exist, so does the world. It's all complicated. Schopenhauer posits that we are not creatures reason, but creatures of desire. If reason exists, it exists as a handmaiden to the demands of desire. Schopenhauer turns to the human body for illustrations; ie, genitals illustrate sexual desire, etc. He believes desire trumps reason because he feels that we are more ourselves when subject to our hungers, our throbbings: Desires. All things, animate, inanimate, growing and inert, express a Will to Live. Humanity is not special, has no immortal soul; we are merely the most developed objectification of the will to life: A particularly lustful and aggressive creature. He likens our existence to walking a circle strewn with red hot coals: We look forward to spots without coals, assuming them to be happiness, when in reality, they are merely an absence or suspension of pain. We attempt to reach these cool spots and life gives us just enough satisfaction to inspire our contuing along the path... This circle of life he presents as so: You desire, be it pleasure sexual or gustatory, which you pursue. Having blown the load, eaten the cookie, snorted the line, you find yourself bored as the feelings of momentary satisfaction dissipate. Once again, beside your lover, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, you find yourself assailed by boredom. But you have a memory of pleasure, so you pursue it again. And again, and again, until you die. The will to live, by its very nature, is predatory: Man prays on animals, plants, and other human beings, animals eat plants, plants consume water, earth; earth by its presence excludes other possibilities by occupying space. Ditto for rock,air, etc. It has a will to exist. Anyway, this pursuit of pleasure always comes at the expense of something else's will to pleasure. IE, to stave hunger, I eat a steak. A cow had to die. You eat a carrot. A carrot had to die. The fact that it is inanimate does not mean you are off the hook according to Schopenhauer. It suffered its annihilation at your hands. It is a universe of suffering and torture. Man, as the most developed objectification of this will to life, tortures and suffers more than anything else. If justice exists, it exists in this limited sense: Torturer is also tortured.... He believes such a universe to be wrong. It is not just. It IS the worst of all possible worlds. All the things we perceive as problems, issues, disasters, he holds forth as fundamental to the system. There is no good, no God or Goddess: Whatever would a fundamentally Good creature have to do with this universe? The answer: They wouldn't. They don't. Life, because of its predatory nature, its perpetuation of victimization, he believes 1) to be morally wrong, 2) to be without purpose, 3) We can only hope to annihlate, like the Buddha, our desire, and achieve nirvana. Life will always have more pain than pleasure. We are meant to be unhappy because it is the basic condtion. We can never get enough coke, sex, money, to stave off boredom forever. The most we can do is invent bullshit to pass the time, such as a god/goddess/deity/demiurge/watchmaker who cares, or find comfort in old chesnuts like moral absolutes. We can also achieve self-deception and assume our absence of misery to constitute happiness... Ultimately it does no good to ignore his conclusions; once we recognize thir validity we can begin to confront them and cope. I suspect the struggle against desire, the contempt for what I recognize as a predatory impulse, has been a factor all my life. However, I am too addicted to my distress, my conflict, my hurt, my longing, even my stupid loves, to allow myself to win that battle.... (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 4th, 2004
4:34 pm	Two Pets Once I had a pet duck. I used to let it sleep next to me and neither of us moved all night. It was a real sweetie. Then someone found it, and took it to the lake. Or, my parents took it away elsewhere. But it was a very lovely animal and more intelligent than people give them credit for, I think. I also sort of had a pet catfish in a lake and we would play with it. Maybe it was ill, but I'll tell you, its damned weird to play with a catfish in a lake, since it is wild. Eventually someone came and ate the catfish. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
6:19 pm	Mathematics is the language of nature Onset 20-90 minutes Coming Up 5-20 minutes Plateau 2-3 hours Coming Down 1-2 hours After Effects 3-24 hours Some people are considerably more sensitive to MDMA than others. Be careful if you are using MDMA for the first time or using material of an unknown purity and strength. POSITIVE extreme mood lift increased willingness to communicate increase in energy (stimulation) ego softening feelings of comfort, belonging, and closeness to others feelings of love and empathy forgiveness increased awareness & appreciation of music increased awareness of senses. (eating, drinking, smell) profound life-changing spiritual experiences neurotically based fear dissolution sensations bright and intense urge to hug and kiss people NEUTRAL appetite loss visual distortion rapid, involuntary eye jiggling (nystagmus) mild visual hallucinations (uncommon) moderately increased heart rate and blood pressure (increases with dose) restlessness, nervousness, shivering change in body temperature regulation strong desire to do or want more when coming down NEGATIVE (see the MDMA Side Effects Profile) (negative side effects increase with higher doses and frequent use) inappropriate and/or unintended emotional bonding tendency to say things you might feel uncomfortable about later mild to extreme jaw clenching (trisma), tongue and cheek chewing, and teeth grinding (bruxia) difficulty concentrating & problems with activities requiring linear focus short-term memory scramble or loss & confusion muscle tension erectile disfunction and difficulty reaching orgasm increase in body temperature, hyperthermia, dehydration (drink water) hyponatremia (don't drink too much water) nausea and vomiting headaches, dizziness, loss of balance, and vertigo post-trip Crash - unpleasantly harsh comedown from the peak effect hangover the next day, lasting days to weeks mild depression and fatigue for up to a week severe depression and/or fatigue (uncommon) possible strong urge to repeat the experience, though not physically addictive possible psychological crisis requiring hospitalization (psychotic episodes, severe panic attacks, etc) (rare) possible liver toxicity (rare) possible neurotoxicity (controversial) small risk of death. Approximately 2 per 100,000 users have extreme negative reactions resulting in death. (rare) (Comment on this)
6:19 pm	Ecstacy Effects Healthy, ages 18-35 with no major physical or mental disorders, no diagnosis of substance dependence except for nicotine, not pregnant or lactating, having reported at least 6 experiences with stimulants, including 3 or more experiences with Ecstasy, and no more than 50 experiences with stimulants, PCP, opiates or sedatives. Absence of all psychoactive use (including alcohol) on the study day, with abstinence verified through urinary and breath analysis (for ethanol) prior to participation in each session. Measures: Mood and Alterations in Consciousness – Assessed via short version (40 rather than 550 items) of the Addiction Research Center Inventory (ARCI), Profile of Mood States (POMS), Hallucinogen Rating Scale (HRS), and visual analog scales (VAS) for alert, anxious, bad drug effect, Confusion, Down, Friendly, Good Drug Effect, High, Hungry, Irritable, Liking, Miserable, On Edge, Sedated, Self-Conscious, Social, Stimulated, Talkative, Tired). Subjects completed nearly all measures (except HRS) immediately prior to drug administration, and all measures for 5 h post-drug,. Physiological Effects – Systolic and diastolic blood pressure (SBP, DBP), heart rate (HR), and body temperature (BT) were all assessed hourly after drug administration. Salivary Cortisol – Measured via radioimmunoassay applied to saliva collected 15 min pre-drug and hourly post-drug. Reinforcing Effects – Reinforcing (rewarding) drug effects were measured at the end of each session via Multiple Choice Procedure (MCP). Participants made 20 independent choices between the drug they received on a session and either giving up or receiving money, with each choice assigned a numerical value (i.e. 1 to 20 for session 1). Reinforcing drug value was defined as the money amount (negative or positive) where the participant switched from receiving drug to either receiving or giving up money, also called crossover value. [Choices had consequences, as each participant awarded one of his or her choices by blind lottery at the end of the study, either a selected study drug, giving up or receiving money.] Drug Identification – Subjects asked to guess identity of drug administered via an end-of-session questionnaire, with possible identities being stimulant, sedative, empathogen [entactogen, MDMA-like drug], hallucinogen or placebo. Analyses: Repeated measures 2-way analysis of variance (ANOVA) was used to examine differences in physiological effects, cortisol assay, and nearly all subjective effects (ARCI, HRS, POMS, and VAS). Session served as one repeated measure (placebo, 1 mg/kg MDMA, 2 mg/kg MDMA, 10 mg d-amphetamine, 20 mg d-amphetamine, 0.5 mg/kg mCPP, and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP) and time of measurement as another repeated measure (1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 h post-drug), with p. set at 0.05. Significant drug x time effects were further tested with 3 post-hoc simple effects tests comparing the higher dose of each test drug (e.g. 2 mg/kg MDMA, 20 mg d-amphetamine and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP) with placebo at time of peak (most different from placebo) effect. Reinforcing Effects, Drug Liking – A one-way analysis of variance (ANOVA) was used to examine MCP and end of session drug liking, with session (placebo, 1 mg/kg MDMA, 2 mg/kg MDMA, 10 mg d-amphetamine, 20 mg d-amphetamine, 0.5 mg/kg mCPP, and 0.75 mCPP) serving as a factor. Details of significance not provided, but p. apparently set at 0.05. Significant effects were tested post-hoc if conditions differed from each other. Relationship between Drug Liking and Reinforcing Effects – Binomial correlations were performed on end of session drug liking and MCP crossover value for each session to establish whether reinforcing drug effects were associated with self-reported drug liking. Drug Identification – No statistical analyses were applied to examine the drug identification measure. Results: Mood and Alterations in Consciousness – (Comparisons apparently not made between lower and higher doses of each drug, or at least these were not presented). ARCI – MDMA increased Amphetamine, BG (energy), MBG (euphoria), and LSD (dysphoria) scores, and decreased PCAG (sedation) scores. MDMA effects on Amphetamine score were higher than d-amphetamine, and peaked earlier (Hour 2 for MDMA, Hour 3 for d-amphetamine or mCPP. MDMA and d-amphetamine both increased BG and decreased PCAG scores, though peak MDMA effects appeared an hour earlier in both cases. Only MDMA (and not d-amphetamine or mCPP) increased MBG scores, with peak increase at Hour 2. Both MDMA and mCPP (but not d-amphetamine) increased LSD scores, with peak increase from both drugs at Hour 1. Only mCPP significantly decreased BG scores and increased PCAG scores. POMS – MDMA increased scores on Positive Mood, Elation, Confusion and Anxiety, with the two negative mood items (anxiety, confusion) peaking at Hour 1 and the two positive items (elation, positive mood) peaking at Hour 2. d-amphetamine increased Elation only, with peak at Hour 3, and mCPP increased anxiety and confusion, and decreased Elation and Positive mood, peak values at Hour 1. MDMA produced increases in Anxiety and Confusion similar to mCPP effects, and MDMA produced higher Elation scores than d-amphetamine. HRS – MDMA increased scores on 5 of 6 HRS scales (Affect, Cognition, Intensity, Perception and Soma [somatic effects]). mCPP had the same profile as MDMA, whereas d-amphetamine increased only Affect, Cognition, Intensity and Soma scores. MDMA produced the greatest changes in HRS scores and d-amphetamine the smallest, with mCPP in the middle, except in the case of Cognition, wherein MDMA and mCPP effects were similar in magnitude. MDMA produced peak changes in all significantly higher HRS scores at Hour 1, most mCPP peak changes occurred at Hour 1 (Affect peak at Hour 2), and d-amphetamine peak changes, except for Affect occurred at Hour 2, (peak change in Affect was at Hour 3). VAS – All three drugs increased Friendly, Good Drug Effect, Liking, Stimulated and Talkative, and decreased Hungry. MDMA and d-amphetamine increased Social, and MDMA and mCPP increased High. MDMA effects on these VAS scores were greater than either mCPP or d-amphetamine. MDMA peak changes in Good Drug Effect, Liking, Social and Talkative appeared at Hour 2, peak changes in High and Stimulated appeared at Hour 1, peak increase in Friendly appeared at Hour 3 and peak decrease in Hungry appeared at Hour 4. Peak VAS changes occurred at similar times for MDMA and mCPP, except that peak mCPP Liking scores were at Hour 3 instead of 2. Some peak changes in VAS produced by d-amphetamine occurred at the same time as MDMA (decreased Hunger at Hour 4, Friendly at Hour 3), but most d-amphetamine peak changes occurred later (Liking, Social, Stimulated, Talkative all at Hour 3 instead of Hours 2 or 1). End of Session Liking – Both doses of MDMA were liked more than placebo, as was the higher dose of d-amphetamine (20 mg) and the lower dose of mCPP (0.5 mg/kg). 10 mg d-amphetamine and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP were not liked more than placebo. 2 mg/kg MDMA was liked more than 20 mg d-amphetamine. Physiological Effects - 2 mg/kg MDMA, 20 mg d-amphetamine and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP all increased SBP and DBP over placebo values, with greatest changes produced by MDMA, followed by d-amphetamine, and the smallest change produced by mCPP. Only MDMA and d-amphetamine significantly increased HR above placebo levels, with MDMA effects greater than d-amphetamine (increase of 20 versus 10 BPM). d-amphetamine produced the greatest changes in BT, with lesser increases produced by MDMA and mCPP. Peak increase in SBP, DBP and HR after MDMA occurred at Hour 1, and peak increase in BT occurred at Hour 2. By contrast, peak changes in SBP after d-amphetamine occurred at Hour 3, peak change in DBP at Hour 1, peak change in HR at Hour 3 and peak change in BT at Hour 4. Peak changes in SBP and DBP after mCPP also appeared at Hour 1 (as with MDMA), but peak change in BT appeared at Hour 4; no peak change in HR occurred after mCPP. Salivary Cortisol – 2 mg/kg MDMA and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP increased cortisol above placebo levels at 3 (MDMA) and 2 (mCPP) h post-drug, with MDMA increases in salivary cortisol higher than increases after mCPP. Neither dose of d-amphetamine increased salivary cortisol at any point in time. Reinforcing Effects – 2 mg/kg MDMA and 20 mg d-amphetamine had higher crossover values than placebo, indicating greater rewarding effects. Apparently 1 mg/kg MDMA, 10 mg d-amphetamine, and both 0.5 and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP failed to produce crossover effects that were significantly higher than placebo. [Chart presentation indicates that 1 mg/kg MDMA and 10 mg d-amphetamine had higher crossover values than 0.75 mg/kg mCPP, but this is not significant. Likewise, the crossover value for 2 mg/kg MDMA was higher, but not significantly higher, than the value for 20 mg d-amphetamine.] Drug Liking and Reinforcing Effects – There was a significant (and apparently positive) relationship between MCP crossover value and end-of-session Drug Liking for both 0.5 and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP. There were no significant correlations between end-of-session Drug Liking and crossover values for either dose of d-amphetamine or MDMA. Drug Identification – 9 of 12 subjects correctly identified placebo. 5 of 12 identified d-amphetamine as a stimulant (not specifying reference doses), whereas 3 to 5 identified d-amphetamine as placebo and 1-2 identified it as an empathogen (MDMA-like drug). Both doses of MDMA and mCPP were identified as empathogens or hallucinogens by 8 to 10 of 12 people, and labeled as placebo by no more than 1 person. Overall Effects: The effects of MDMA were compared with those of d-amphetamine, a stimulant and dopaminergic drug, and mCPP, a serotonin releaser and 5HT2C receptor agonist, in 12 Ecstasy-experienced individuals. Comparisons between higher and lower doses of the same test drug were only presented on occasion, with most comparisons described being between the higher doses of the 3 test drugs. 2 mg/kg MDMA increased positive mood (such as POMS Elation, ARCI MBG, VAS Friendly and Social), but also increased negative mood (ARCI LSD score, POMS Anxiety, Confusion). Changes in negative mood tended to peak an hour earlier than changes in positive mood (Hour 1 versus Hour 2 or 3). MDMA and d-amphetamine both increased positive mood and elation, whereas MDMA and mCPP both increased negative mood (such as anxiety and dysphoria). Both MDMA and mCPP increased scores on 5 of the 6 HRS scales, and d-amphetamine increased scores on 4 scales (it did not increase Perception scores). With the exception of HRS Cognition scores, MDMA produced the greatest increases in HRS scores, and d-amphetamine the smallest changes. All three drugs increased some VAS scores (such as Good Drug Effect, Liking, and Stimulated), and all three drugs decreased Hungry. MDMA and d-amphetamine increased Social, and MDMA and mCPP increased "high." Peak changes in mood and alteration in consciousness tended to occur later after d-amphetamine than after MDMA or mCPP. MDMA produced a peak increase in Stimulated and High at Hour 1, whereas peak increase in most positive mood changes at Hour 2 or 3, and peak reduction in hunger was at Hour 4. All 3 drugs significantly elevated SBP and DBP, but only MDMA and d-amphetamine significantly elevated HR. Though all 3 drugs elevated BT, only d-amphetamine significantly elevated BT above placebo. Peak changes in physiological MDMA effects occurred at Hour 1 for all but BT, where peak change occurred at Hour 2. Physiological effects of MDMA and mCPP followed a similar time course, (except peak change in BT at Hour 4). In contrast, MDMA did not share a similar time course of effects with d-amphetamine. In most cases, d-amphetamine peak changes occurred later than those seen after MDMA. 2 mg/kg MDMA and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP both significantly elevated salivary cortisol, whereas d-amphetamine did not. Peak changes in cortisol after MDMA occurred at Hour 3, and peak cortisol changes after mCPP occurred at Hour 2. Both doses of MDMA were liked more than placebo when measured at end of session. Subjects considered 2 mg/kg MDMA and 20 mg d-amphetamine significantly worth more than placebo, at least when worth was defined as the amount of money they were willing to receive or give up in lieu of the drug. Subjects did not consider 1 mg/kg MDMA, 10 mg d-amphetamine, and both 0.5 and 0.75 mg/kg mCPP significantly more valuable than placebo. End of session drug liking was not correlated with the apparent worth of MDMA, or any of the other drugs tested. MDMA was consistently identified as an empathogen [entactogen, MDMA-like drug] or hallucinogen. It is notable that mCPP was also identified in the same manner. By contrast, only 5 of 12 subjects correctly identified amphetamine as a stimulant, and 2 people identified amphetamine as an empathogen. Adverse Effects: None specifically listed in this paper. However, MDMA increased ARCI LSD (dysphoria) score, POMS Anxiety and Confusion scores, and decreased VAS Hungry scores. Elevation in blood pressure and heart rate was not above the normal range. Comments: This is the first report that directly compared the subjective and physiological effects of MDMA with the effects of a psychostimulant and a serotonin releaser. The study is notable for examining temporal (time-related) aspects of drug effects as well as cross-drug comparisons. Findings indicated that increased negative feelings and sympathomimetic effects (elevated blood pressure and heart rate) peak during the first hour after drug administration. This may mean that monitoring for these acute effects is most important during this time period. Interestingly, most peak changes in positive mood occurred 2 hours post-drug, an hour after the initial peak in physiological effects and negative mood states. This is the second of two reports by the same co-authors (see Tancer and Johanson 2001), with the current paper presenting full within-subjects comparison of drug effects. This is the first published report that assessed MDMA effects with the HRS, a measure originally designed to assess effects of psychedelic drugs, such as DMT or psilocybin. It is thus surprising that two of 3 drugs (MDMA and mCPP), neither considered psychedelic, increased scores on 5 of 6 HRS scales. These findings suggest that the factors assessed by the HRS are not uniquely associated with psychedelics. While it is notable that participants reported feeling friendly and social after MDMA, participants also reported experiencing these markers of entactogenic effects after mCPP (friendly) and d-amphetamine (friendly, social). Finding that subjects assign high worth to MDMA is congruent with findings from case reports and retrospective studies of MDMA-associated abuse liability (Cottler et al. 2001; Jansen 1995; Topp et al. 1999; Von Sydow et al. 2002). However, it should be remembered that subjects were selected specifically for their past use of Ecstasy and minimal use of other drugs, so it is perhaps not surprising that most subjects considered MDMA to be rewarding. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
12:58 am	Love Letter My Style I felt the need, thus the action. So we sit, we write, we open something, knowing well it matters naught to the audience. We become curiosity in place of going concern, something to discuss with more current acquaintance. Its difficult to talk about private matters, as it may come across as an idle boast. Recent observation: well, I can get in on guest lists. Hoorah, I guess. Being silent madman of awesome motion tends to attract attention... Second: Rejected all around. When one competes for 25 against 725, disappointment may be in order. But my relations in life have prepared me for rejection - thus I push on undeterred. I like lonely places, as I know others would fall in similar areas and break, and the feeling of superiority enduring untoward things grants me makes for a warm feeling. Only he who gives up is defeated. Those who fight, fight, fight: They tend to win. Thus a deathless tramp. Third: Sometimes I'm a rockstar teacher and I point young minds in directions they would never have touched. One lovely young girl told me when she won the Nobel prize she would mention me. That's gratifying. She said I set her feet on the path. I promptly began to push her into Eugenio Montale. Next six weeks, I bring my classes Dante's Inferno. Fuck it. Let them learn something of heaven and hell... they'll remember as much. Fourth: Large breasted pagan women seem to be my cup of tea. I ended up kissing one last Saturday. Nice girl. Likes to hunt, but dies her hair black and rambled about her pagan religious beliefs. As the devourer of all beliefs,reverer of none, I listened quiet politely. What I like is what I like, correct? Also a mother. Into fantasy novels. How amusing. I guess I could end up chasing her naked high on coke with a set of deer antlers, but it would only be for ironic reasons. On the other hand, I also have a 30 year old owner of a lingerie boutique who likes me somehwat more than she should; she made a comment about how I'm her parlor trick: Swift retort: "I'm no body's parlor trick." She likes to ramble at me in German. I feel awesomely amused. Others might fall at her feet, but I enjoy an awesome satisfaction at pushing away at what others would adore. After all, I also have young African Lolitas casting dark almond eyes my way. And there'll be another: I haven't met her yet. Fifth: Quang is busy sending pictures of his 18 year old girlfriend around in various states of undress: I'm not impressed and I wouldn't touch her with yours. In pink lingerie with glasses. Yick. I don't write as much as I did so far as you go, and at times I go out of my way to make unpleasant commentary, but in truth, its merely a testament to an unchanged emotional viewpoint. As was, as is, as ever: So be it, we accept it, even pride ourselves on it. Love yesterday, today, tomorrow. Hated as well yesterday, today, tomorrow. Denied today, yesterday.... even tomorrow? Let the world drown in fire and ice and the stars explode and I imagine they'll find my corpse clutching red flowers in the ice. One problematic beautiful woman replaces another, one more needy suckling on the dick, it doesn't matter: Nothing entertains so much as my own mind and the lives of dead white males. I know myself well: No secrets. I admit freely unpleasant truths and no nothing of embarassment. Every wound and burn and bit of scorn I lovingly examined. Isolation, loss, rejection without relief: these all provide the bedrock for an astounding career or early death. It is a commonplace in many a remarkable career. Cliched pain heaped on cliched pain, endurance unbroken as Gibraltar, dogged as Sisyphus at the rock. When we find comfort and consolation in others, we postpone discovering ourselves because we have another to lie to and they, in turn, can lie to us. But constantly alone, there's no face at our side in the mirror to distract or console us from ourselves: Only us unblinking, demanding confrontation. Die today, die tomorrow, deny everything ever said and it doesn't matter. What is is what shall be and I shall not question it. There is a great comfort in my affection sometimes and I bless your cruetly towards me, along with your kindness, for I recognize in myself something quite different, and I begin to embrace that with staunch partisanship, and the love that nearly made me seek death is the thing that made me who I am today and granted me the vantage I examine my days with. Never mind the days of others. I even bless your dishonesty and misdirection. All this cute melodrama and human weakness that keeps me tethered. All the isolation, the separation from my fellow beings, the suspicion, the obssession: All buttresses upholding the souls' cathedral -where all the bats roost during daylight hours. The other day, I was thinking how much I should have loved to put my head in your lap and just lie there awhile without concern, care, etc, your broad fingers in my tangled hair, but another issue would be there, would it not, so I would never allow myself that bit of ease, instead taking comfort in the thought, the dream, fearing the reality. I would have to prove the usual cliches, live up to the garbage fenced in around life. Truth is, I conjured the vision to birth a bit of sorrow, enliven isolation to force confrontation. For there are other successful and attractive women, even more so, depending on a standard, but somehow you fit my particular malady best of all. I confess I am not the best obssessive, can't tell you what you think, wouldn't dare to hazard to profess what you should think, believe, do. However, I thought you might do with a reaffirmation that I love you in a dreadfully dull and calm way. But you're a goddess and these days I dedicate to myself alone; we cannot render worthy sacrifices at the altar, busy as we are devouring stars and what not... Tickles and cheers (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 27th, 2004
8:45 pm	Dialogue with Doctoral Students E: Reason is important, probably even essential for the "good life," but taken by itself reason is insufficient, even dysfunctional and counter-productive of virtue. Reason without the governing force of a moral conscience produces monsters that lurk in the dark places of the human heart and then pounce forth laying waste to the joys that may be found in life's garden. B: I would not go so far as to declare life a garden; I fancy it more a desert in various stages of dessication. Here the dry plain, there the vast dunes windtorn and forbiddingly beautiful. I suspect you begin to drive your rhetoric toward the stained halls of absolutes, those dusty Platonic and Mosaic hobby horses. Like West Virginia, it's all relative. Morals are useful, but they change over time. E: The Nazi's holocaust was the quintessential exercise in reason unbound by morality. B: Anyone familiar with the "Nazi primer" and Nazism's rhetoric and theory would have a devil's time untangling whatever aborted clots of reason glued Hitler's turgid ideology together. Reason did not produce Auschwitz, nor did it produce the gulag, though it may think, and others may believe, it did. Reason perverted, perhaps, achieved such a thing. I find this very ironic, for Lorne knows well enough I adore demagoguery, piss and wind, sound and fury, faint fits of nothing with brass trappings sold as high art: Emperor's without clothes, professors behind cheap curtains. Traditional morality, like traditional religion, works well for the dulledged rank and file too timid or insipid to trouble themselves with deep thought or to ponder cold discomfort's conclusion. E: Faith in reason alone is a most dangerous brand of hubris. The universe is large, and in the end we must be willing to accept an element of mystery and uncertainty. If we are to live satisfying and fulfilled lives, we must sometimes be willing to say "I don't know." B: "Truth told", I have no faith in anything, including reason, except dehiscense, dissolution: In so many words, failure. I enjoy my days, but I see no point, no underpinning, no overarching agency, no master chessman. I envy your ability to imagine with conviction America as agent for good or ill; I imagine it merely another piece of flotsam cresting swollen wave before said wave shatters against rock impaled shore inhabited by silence broken by occassional cry of bird, of interest due to its mass, its contemperanity, its ability to displace other less massive bits of wreckage swirling before history's surge. I envy the ability to affect earnestness. Somedays I allow myself the vanity of judgment and passion, but in my deeper moments, I rap day's facade and discern an echo that defines no center. As I age, the only difference is gathering depth. B: I find a great deal of joy in my days, requiring no god, no meaning, no point, no morality: merely whatever the hours spew, and wish no one any more suffering than must be borne. I pilot toward the maelstrom with indomitable good cheer unnerving to others... Outrage, indignation, anger, so small and pointless in the scheme of things, I would rather leave unclaimed on another's doorstep than devote my hours toward rearing. E: Atomic sh-t or moral order? I don't know. We both have our pet theories. B: Dust, shit, aethereal substance devised by deity: Makes no difference. Your wings are woven from dustmite's evacuation and ceased to carry the more thoughtful very far many years ago. E: Perhaps we are both wrong, or both right... I can see evidence both pro and con for both hypotheses, with a large epistemic gulf of uncertainty between our metaphysical constructions and the ontological "truth" (if any). B:I claim no answers, only posit constructions, embrace the most tenable to my temperament: Sometimes I argue for the moment's sake, for a moment of thrill, to indulge in belief, to hatch a good bellow in my belly. I envy and pity those who can claim a shelter in good faith: Thus my unbounding lust for the spiritually inclined, their faith more attractive than any physical beauty. Contradictions abound. E: I do know that what we choose to believe as our operating premise does have consequences, for our conduct tends to flow from the assumptions we embrace. B:I operate on instinct and observation: No great arbiter of reason, no god king on a throne to dispense order and wisdom exists to guide my days: Only mere words of men, nothing more, striving to erect through unending speech, repetition of speech, a stable edifice amid chaos. Words come and go, die, are borne, replaced, corrupted, modified, perverted. E:If we choose to believe in an amoral universe of (supposedly) rational actors, economic man, political animal, then we risk patterning our actions in ways that will lead us toward becoming just another snatch-and-grab cut-purse in a Hobbsian war of all against all. B:What if we believe in an amoral universe of absurd actors, absurd man and absurd animal, already at war with all to varying degrees, but too stupid to know - or too proud to admit? E:If on the other hand morality does matter as an aspect of our world- view, if we recognize in some way our connection to each other and to the totality of life, then to use an old steam era metaphor, the fly-wheel of our reason is less at risk of spinning out of control, because it is governed by an internalized moral mechanism that sets limits on the overreaching ambitions of our intellect. B:Moral? Why must it be moral? Why not instinct? Our connection is quite evident on first glance: Five fingers a hand and upright posture, ever running mouth. Not to mention an overdesiring urge to rut with one another, male or female, in every orifice, clean or foul, rain or shine. Genetics and instinct: Not morals. We wake, we cry, we die: No greater connection than thanos need be sought. E:So in short, I see no need to reject science, I simply find it insufficient by itself. B:Truth is, it's insufficient from stem to stern, pit to cleft, science, reason, absurdity, due to our own natural limitations. We are limited creatures of slight comprehension, even the best brightness born to each generation. Reason does not suffice, morality does not suffice, science does not suffice, because we, my good man, do not suffice. We prove inadequate to the challenge, did not even know there was a challenge to answer. Poor tools all, uncounted blunt edges better for smashing granite than cutting diamond, we've gone far but our race (in both senses) approaches final courses before extreme modification. Perversion. Evolution. E:For what it's worth, I am also very doubtful about the worth of organized religion - far too often, it looks to me much too much like an excuse for abdicating the responsibility of thinking for one's self. B: Most people prove unable to accept how unimportant and meaningless they and their opinions, wisdom, accumulated triumphs, truly are. Too many strut and rollick on stage proud as pewter emperors peddled in Korean markets and fail to laugh. Piss, wind absorbed by earth, deflected by hard stone without comment or simulacrum of pity. Embrace your insignificance. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 25th, 2004
7:46 pm	Fuckin' kiddin me.... You are Form 2, Angel: The Pure. "And The Angel rose as holy protector for all that was created. She fought with honor and valor to serve the good of the world. But the coming of the mankind was her downfall; and end to purity." Some examples of the Angel Form are Michael (Christian) and Hercules (Greek). The Angel is associated with the concept of virtue, the number 2, and the element of wind. Her sign is the zenith sun. As a member of Form 2, you are a person of your word. You generally keep your promises and give everything you do your best. Although some people see you as overbearing sometimes, you know that you have to stay true to yourself and do what's right. Angels are the best friends to have because they are brutally honest. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
7:35 pm	Richard Clarke Watching the world rattle round from a leftier hand than ever I imagined credible in wildest reveries. 'Tis true no one ever admitted fault or failure in regard to grand inferno's occurence: Mere rah rah, ten minute hates color queued and coupled with flag waving jingotanic homilies, beer belly bluster, pseudo scifi mayhem executed flawlessly on salted earth beyond Khyber pass to edify rattled cattle lowing stateside: Opium administered in flagtrap gumpistries delivered grim jawed. The burning bushies, zen masters of mass distractions, cry havoc huge to heaven hell, fire blame's grapeshot hither thither everwhere betwixt Rumsfield's dadaesque zen oracularizations: known knowns, unknown knowns, echo's bones: republican gnomes one and all scattering when clock cracks 12 before we discover their spin wheel mesmerics prove pumpkin gruel gone to mold. I abandoned drugs when interesting times reconfigured in a fashion far too bizarre to countenance sensibility's purposeful derangement. (Comment on this)